In another twist of the unusual, I spent a few hours cruising through the Black Friday crowds on a few missions with D yesterday. I typically don't Black Friday but as he's guesting with us, I would have gone with him even if I didn't have to buy anything and that would have been a lot less stressful. Instead, I was spending an obscene amount of money on a highly consumeristic day and not even getting any bargains out of it.

PiC had tried to purchase a netbook for me as a birthday gift a while back but I balked because I wanted something so lightweight that the price points were far too high.  Rejecting the reality that I'd need a netbook for travel and especially for business travel when he'd not be around to help with my bags, I insisted that I could wait.  After hauling my beloved mainstay Vaio to and from work for one day, getting left by five buses in the dark, cold and wet, and nearly having to walk 2.5 miles lugging the 7 pounds of computer in addition to the usual work stuff, though, I realized: I'm not that tough.

Pretend as I might that I can soldier on through anything, I had a highly unusual meltdown that night and boy oh boy, that was a wake up call.  Meeting challenges is fine, but why on earth create more for yourself?

Unfortunately, I woke up very late in the game which left me scrambling.  With a lot of browsing and some help from online friends (thanks @brokeinthecity!!) and having spent a mint on the computer itself, I still needed software.

I'm looking at the poor and poorer choices of buying Microsoft Office for Home and Business for at least $200, or going without on a business trip and hoping that I can get by using the free trial (opening it 25 times total in two weeks) will do.

I ended up forking over $250 for a family pack of 3 Home and Business key cards because that was the only package available at Costco - I was expecting to pay $170 for a single use license.

Today's D-Day: do I open it up and install, hoping PiC can Craigslist the other two license keys? Or do I leave it pristine and hope I can get through the trip without actually needing it?

And do I spend time today searching for a lightweight waterproof tote because the one I ordered two weeks ago never showed up?  Because I would really love to stop shopping, but letting my new computer possibly get drenched in the sudden downpours I've been warned about is beyond stupid.

Having seen PiC off to the airport, my hometown friend D and I are spending a quiet Thanksgiving weekend together in the Bay Area without our families because making our ways back to Southern California just wasn't in the cards for either of us. His reasons are his own and not mine to share, but mine are, of course, not precisely a secret.

Since moving away, I've been a mess of conflict struggling to remain a dutiful daughter from hundreds of miles away; fighting to establish my place in a new job, and adjusting to a new home and shifting relationship dynamics. 

For the first time in four years, PiC and I are in the same city all the time. We pick up the phone and schedule a shared commute, shared dinner plans, shared grocery shopping and budget. In most ways, it's nearly been seamless. In others, we've picked up our bones of contention and sparred a few rounds. At the end of the day, it's all worked out and I'm more grateful than ever that this was the end to my almost year-long stint of unemployment.  It was horribly nerve-wracking at the time, and could have been the biggest mistake ever, but so far, it's been a huge support.

Conversely, however, for the first time in my life, I don't live steeped entirely and totally in the family stress.  And so in a strange turn of dis-inoculation, perhaps call it weakening by means of detoxification, my spirit quails at the thought of venturing back into the fray, each and every time.  Every visit has been emotionally fraught, always including fights with the sibling when we run into each other, the heartwrenching sag in my mom's cheeks, left behind from her stroke-like episodes in 2008 and other small signs of disrepair in my former home and crumbling family foundations.
 
After several rounds of trying to walk it off, and playing the stiff upper lip game, it was time to admit defeat. I simply couldn't face it again this weekend, not this holiday weekend when the expectations of family are at a near all-time high. I just didn't have the strength to pull a shroud around my soul again, and I don't have the ability to pretend that that is business as usual. Until I have taken steps to get my parents out of their living situation and dealt with my feelings of guilt for "abandoning" them, I need to keep my physical distance for a while longer. 

While I wasn't totally happy with the decision, I haven't had any nightmares since deciding to stay in town for the weekend.  And with a friend to keep me company, I'll actually cook dinner to eat while reading comics all day. It's probably the best decision for me right now, and it's about time I learned how to make those kinds of decisions in addition to taking care of everything and everyone else.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers and a wonderful weekend to everyone else!  I hope you're enjoying peace, quiet, and comfort and remember all the blessings we have in our lives.  I hope you're able to do that every day, regardless of the season.

Thanks to all you faithful friends and readers for being there in the virtual world and in some cases, in real life as well. I'm grateful for everyone's support, online and off, you've made the journey this far so much more positive and even enjoyable than it was when I was just a young pup struggling to make ends meet with my minimum wage job and a checkbook.

For a number of reasons, I decided to buy a pack of Costco cash cards almost a month ago.  I'd ordered one online once before and it was easier (way easier) than pie. Quick order, mail delivery, phone activation and off to the races.

I'd wanted to keep an eye on our gas and grocery spending differently, and they're nice gifts as well, so I sprang for a whole stack of $50 cards for the sake of flexibility. They were delivered pretty much as expected to me within a week or so after ordering and I put them away until I needed to use them. My preference is not to activate so much money and let it lie around like cash if I don't have to.  It'd be a colossal heartbreak if I managed to lose a Costco cash card, right?

Turns out, having them has been the worst case of heartburn.

The morning of the day we wanted to use the first one, I called in to activate the card using the automated system.  The numbers weren't recognized. I was routed to a CSR. She couldn't understand every other word I was saying. It might have helped if she'd bothered to listen to me when I was speaking. But never ye mind that.

She insisted that there was no such card number in the system. Wait, please hold. No, the card number isn't the problem.  My phone number doesn't exist.

What? 

Get this: you don't just need your card, and the sticker on the card to phone them with. They want you to have the card, the card carrier with its secret information printed on it (which they tell you is incorrect or has already been used anyway), the phone number of the person who ordered the fragging cards in the first place (so if you were surprised or Secret Santaed, outta luck), and even to identify the color of freaking sticker with the activation number printed on it.

Why?  Why on God's Green EARTH is all of this necessary?

After an hour on the phone with them, I gave up and left it with PiC. He tossed it into the glove compartment after being put on hold, routed to three different phone numbers, and given a very-merry-go-round as well.

We ended up having to go into the actual warehouse to ask Member Services for help, and they gave that rep the same guff to activate one card.  He was totally painfully cheerful throughout the idiotic process, up to the point where they asked him about the sticker.  Even he couldn't fake it, then.

We have nine others. I'm seriously considering returning them and demanding my money back.

There's an idea PiC and I have been floating, kicking around, actually, for the past several weeks.

A friend is going traipsing about across continents for several months and has been prodding us to jump in for a bit of that trip sometime in the spring. We'd previously half-promised to join a pair of PiC's friends in Greece "sometime in spring" but that couple has already decided on a week on Greece and another in Italy and at a time that may not work so well for us.

Leaving aside the question of whether I can save enough vacation time, there's still the actual cost to get there and back, and fill my ever-starving belly!  A very rough estimate of an acceptable budget: $2000-3000.

It's a pretty crazy thought.

But.

So Delicious.

I hit FlyerTalk and Fatwallet to confirm my suspicions and sure enough, there had been a fantastic promotion for the British Airways Signature Visa months ago - 50,000 bonus miles after a first purchase and a $2000 spend in three months, but the current promotion on offer was pretty anemic at only half that so I held off.  It's nothing like the one from last year offering twice that, for a total of 100K miles, though. *dramatic sigh*

Lo, when I tried to book my travel for work, Chase/BA ambushed me with the premium offer, only if I were to apply right then and there and pay for my travel with that very same card.

Pacing back and forth, assailing PiC with demands for his assessments of our usual spending that goes on credit cards for the next three months, I found myself, after two hours of obsessing, applying for the card.  What I did not notice, shame on me, was that a waiver of the annual fee wasn't part of the promotion. I'd taken that for granted as a normal business tactic for all the new cards.  And they get you right up front, too!  The charge hit my card two days after I got it in the mail.

As a bit of emotional solace, though it's hardly a real offset against $75(!), I just found out that this card no longer charges a foreign transaction fee.  So there's that.

The 50,000 bonus miles will pay for one transatlantic flight, so that's one of us taken care of.  Perhaps it's worth $75 for PiC to pick up his own card after I've completed my $2000 spend so we can combine costs on his card?  I don't want to be spending above need just for the sake of getting bonus miles, of course, that's silly and wasteful.  But I am planning to pay things like car registration earlier to get it into the three month cycle for this card. We can do that for a number of things like Costco gift cards (which are another story entirely).

I don't know if, when or how this trip will happen yet.  There are still a lot of issues (hi, family problems) to be settled between now and then so it might be completely unrealistic to try and go away for such a big trip. But I'll just keep squirreling money and miles away. Just in case.

I have been beyond swamped at work trying to cope with massively multiplying problems that seem as though they're only a week away from becoming a pandemic of the sort that takes out an entire system. I'd started the research for this post a month ago, and then fell off BlogWorld. But it's time to get this wrapped up!

Before the year is out, I'll have to take a trip to Europe for business and the first things on my mind are: Will I die of the freezing cold and how do I make sure I pay the absolute minimum in fees?

The first question was partially tended to in this and that post, but the second is my biggest priority. 

My goals

I want to avoid foreign transaction fees, and I want to get the best exchange rates on any cash I have to withdraw during my travels.

Initial thoughts:  Should I open a Capital One credit card so that I have a credit card with no foreign transaction fees, and should I also have a banking relationship with an international bank like HSBC so that I can withdraw cash without extra ATM fees ?

Answers: Probably not, Cap One has developed a poor reputation for ethical business practices as I discovered via SingleMa's discussions on her blog and I'm not so hard up as to support a business that is known for unethical behavior.

Maybe.  Maybe not, I'm not thrilled with the stories I found about HSBC online either. But this could turn out to be like every other time I research electronics. By the time I'm done researching, I've just discovered that everything ever created was crap and I should save my money. 

Phase 1 - Examining my current cards

AMEX charges 2.7% foreign transaction fees on all of their cards so that's two cards (Amex Gold, Hilton HHonors) I won't be using.
Chase charges 3% foreign transaction fees on their cards.  Three (Cash Plus, Sapphire, Free Cash) cards down.
Citi charges 3% fees on their cards as well. Getting grouchy, three more cards down.

Phase 2 - Calling the banks 

SingleMa's mention of seeing ING while in Paris and London got my brain ticking so I picked up the phone and called them. It turns out that with ING, I can use any ATM in Europe with a 2% international transaction fee. For the purposes of accounting and claiming expenses, the CSR confirmed that the fees should print on my receipt which is all I'm willing to share when I turn in expense forms. No way they're getting statements!

Nearly ten years ago, my bestie and I used American Express traveler's cheques when we went overseas together.  I think we purchased the cheques via AAA here, and then cashed them as needed in Italy.  It's been years since I used AAA as an insurer or their membership benefits so I don't know if they still offer that benefit.  I've emailed them to see if this is the case. It'd be a handy and safe way to go with some cash in my pocket as they'll replace any lost or stolen traveler's cheques.

Citi has branches in the cities I'm traveling through but there's a 3% foreign transaction fee that won't show up until it's posted to the account which is less than ideal.

***This is where I had to leave off the research, running off to purchase my ticket in a tizzy before prices skyrocketed and accountant heads exploded.***

Tentative conclusions: PiC is a AAA member so I may ask him to pick up a couple hundred in traveler's cheques to cover the cash portion for me, and then off to evaluate more card options.

Then [cue: dun dun duhhhhh] Frugal Scholar posted this fantastic tidbit that dovetailed perfectly with ... well, you'll find out!  ;)

As I prepare for a trip overseas in December, PiC is insisting that in addition to my need for a lighter, travel-friendly computer, I should really consider his selection of ultrawarm, lightweight outerwear, the Patagonia Down With It Parka:




I did my mental "That's a BAD PRICE" stomp and tried to walk away but he asked me to at least try it on and get a sense for the sizing and the weight.

You guys.

It was so cozy that despite the risk of looking like the Michelin Man's second cousin (I usually hate puffy anything), the slim fit was just on this side of flattering enough for me to say I really want it.  The pockets were deep deep deep and lined so they were warm and fuzzy, there was an inside zippered pocket (be still, my heart!) and the hood zips off.  However, all sources say it is water-resistant and not waterproof so a waterproof is still necessary.  [Patagonia's waterproofs that fit are another $250!!  Am I crazy or are they??]

I already have a gorgeous knee-length black coat that is frankly ten times more professional and lovely, but it's also about 8 pounds of wool and silk lining I'm not sure I want to lug overseas, traipsing out into the country with dogs and horses, before then heading into the city and the countryside again.  It's not just heavy, it snaps up dirt and hair like a fancy rug and that's not going to be presentable halfway through two weeks of travel.

To be clear, traveling light isn't just a minimalist desire for me, it's an actual physical need.  My body cannot tolerate certain stresses. Carrying, lifting, dragging, toting, and tossing heavy luggage and bags that is typical of business travel is one of those stresses but this isn't optional so I'm doing my level best to pare down every ounce of unnecessary gear.   

Staying very warm is also not just a desire, if I get too cold, my body literally shuts down. And it has a liberal definition of "too cold."

After combing through all the deal sites, REI, Backcountry.com, steepandcheap.com, Amazon, to no avail, I hit up all my possible gift card "vendors" (a la credit card rewards, hotel points, miles and other points redemptions) for better "financing" to reduce out of pocket spending. No luck there either.  I came to the conclusion that I was going to have to make the decision to pay full price or go without. 

Then I stumbled upon one site claiming to clearance out last year's coats for $202 and free shipping in 5-7 days.  A quick chat with Patagonia customer service confirmed that last year's coats were the same slim fit, which was the only detail that was missing from my comparison of the coats.  It's not a store for which I can get gift cards so I'd be out of pocket for the full amount. 

I still need a rain coat, hat and gloves.  I can cross the extra turtleneck off my list, we found that for $10 at H&M.

Do I suck it up and just go on the hunt for a raincoat and take my existing heavy coat?  Or go for the only "deal" I've found in the hopes of saving myself some cold, shivery, painful travel days?

Note:  Spending $200 on a coat when I've already got one and when I've been scrimping and saving all my other pennies makes me really grumpy. Plus I've still got other expenses. I still haven't picked that computer, for one thing.  While, it is supposed to be my birthday present, I still think of his spending as our spending.

Kaiser offers a free flu vaccine, mobile flu clinics abound as the official cold and flu season [possibly as declared by the drug industry] draws close and PiC has been insisting with ever-increasing urgency that we can not get sick this year.

Despite being surrounded by modern day solutions *cough * needles *cough*, I'm steadfastly refusing for no other reason than ... I hate shots.

And I don't want to take yet more time out to go do something that's going to cause even momentary discomfort for what I consider insignificant benefits. I've not seen any difference in my flu-getting rates between years when I did get the flu vaccine and years when I didn't.

What I have seen is a huge difference between good years and bad years for me is primarily related to stress levels.  My promise to PiC, then, is that I will be routinely be maintaining my physical health and sanity as a whole and not relying on the unsteady assistance of a flu vaccine and some shots of Emergen-C that he likes.

I won't use them as crutches, in other words, since the belief that those alone will ward off the illness often takes the place of whole being wellness.  Again, for me.  

On November 1st, I took up Single Ma's pushup challenge, modified to suit my capabilities. Over the next three weeks, I'm looking to increase from three sets of ten to five sets of ten with short breaks in between. They're not the perfect, plank-version form I used to do, but they are good form for the kind I can do without causing injuries. 

Between the pushups, which have to spaced out appropriately to avoid injury (big theme around here), we've taken up a series of stretches that are stretchy and strengthening.  They've been incredible for pain reduction and management which makes more exercise possible.

In the kitchen, we've been doing a lot of home cooking with lots of ginger and garlic.  The NIH may not make drastic claims about the healthful properties of both, but I've always enjoyed cooking with both and the side effect of cooking at home is far healthier, still-delicious recipes in moderate proportions.  And honestly, I've always felt much improved after a cup of hot ginger-lemon tea, ginger-laden broth makes me feel just as warm and cozy inside.

What else shall I cook up in my game of Needle-Keep-Away? Are you pro flu-vaccine or will you be avoiding it as well?  If so, what are you doing to protect yourself and your loved ones from the possible effects of your possibly bad decision?  ;)

I splurged a bit after all.  I gifted a few Scott Pilgrim books, picked up a few more long sleeve shirts on sale from Ann Taylor as layering pieces (previously mentioned), and splurged on this lovely top:


I feel a little sheepish because I really wanted the OMG Books shirt but this one grabbed my attention while I was ordering the much needed work shirts and now I feel like I've hit the limit on acquiring stuff.

Returning is always an option but it does fill a gaping area in my wardrobe between completely casual tees and button down long-sleeves.

As I ponder, I'm grateful I even have the choice considering my friends Sense to Dollars and eemusings recently discussed the lack of a generous returns policy in New Zealand. Without that option, I would certainly never have ventured to even buy it in the first place.

Until I started working and truly needed business clothes, my shopping had become so sporadic that I'd well gotten out of the habit of buying and holding. Stores like Ross and Marshalls are great but so rarely turn up gems that are both bargains and fit well that I'd basically given up on them for anything but housewares.

So while the professional side of me is grateful to Well Heeled for introducing me to petite fashion bloggers like Petite Asian Girl and Alterations Needed, the frugal PF blogger in me is distinctly uncertain about this whole other world of shopping where people my size actually can, for a price, find clothing that fits and flatters or make it fit and flatter.  It's probably a good thing that I'm used to spending on a budget ... or rather not spending because I'm on a budget. 

Here's the real question: Keeper, or no?  Fits really well. Could be paired with ... things. Ah yes, check out my fashion sense!


My thanks .....

to Flexo for hosting this week's Carnival of Personal Finance and including my post Scammy scam scam?