Has anyone reached the $100 payout level and actually received a payment? Ever?

VH discussed her troubles with this over at Funny About Money, and Krystal at Give Me My Five Bucks is approaching the $100 marker (via Twitter). I know they're not the only ones, either, but what I don't know is whether or not anyone out there has actually made and been paid money from the Adsense program.

I never really expected to make money from this blog, but I installed the widgets anyway way back in the day. Contrary to my dire predictions of January 2008, it's only taken me another 21 months to earn all of $90 in total, so perhaps 13 years was a pessimistic projection. Then again, maybe not! As I inch towards the goal line, though, I wonder if it matters. Even if I reach $100, will Google actually pay up?

Posting here has fallen off for a number of reasons and it's frustrating because I feel like nothing's getting done. Now that's a weird way to look at it. You'd think blogging would get in the way of accomplishing stuff, not facilitate it. Anyhow, like MoneyMateKate, things on the financial front are relatively stagnant. Medical matters have kept me away from home, supporting one sick friend + family after another these two weeks. It must have been three weeks ago that I twittered about my friend's husband hospitalization in a diabetic coma. She's been leaning on me pretty heavily since then for company as well as emotional support.

There are tons of things that need doing, I just don't wanna. Heck, I don't even want to write this post because that means I'll feel guilty and have to get going and take care of them. :)

Pack your bags, we're going on a guilt trip!

School started three or four days ago. 1. I still don't have my books. I should have ordered them three weeks ago to save on shipping. I even made up a spreadsheet comparing costs of Amazon.com vs. Chegg.com vs. library (availability) vs. paperbackswap.com (availability). Too bad the actual ordering didn't happen, now Chegg will take 4-7 business days to deliver the books. What is this, college all over again??

2. I'm still perusing the syllabi and wondering if perhaps I was too ambitious taking two classes to start. That right there sounds like a pansy talkin'.

3. Quizzes. Ugh. There's a practice test posted right now. Ugh.

On the bright side, I'm really glad that I paid the extra money and signed up for online courses this quarter. This whole situation would have been impossible if I'd moved to the LA area and taken classes on campus.

Work. I volunteered to intern with this fella who can teach me Photoshop and InDesign a couple days a week, but that's been utterly derailed because of the family stuff. Not much I can do there because I have to actually be there in the office to learn and work. He knows what's going on, though.

I was also offered a possible internship opportunity with a financial services firm if I like my finance classes. Again, demands on my time need to be prioritized.

Travel. Dragging my feet on scheduling any travel because even though I really want to be away from home, travel itself is getting old. You know the restless out-of-place sort of feeling when you're ready to be back in your comfy spot? I've got that.

Plus, I'd like to use American Airlines miles but booking through their site's just a pain.

Anyhow, the takeaway message today is that you can't get anywhere until you get started. And I'm going to get started now. Have a great rest of Saturday!

For the first time in years, I got birthday money! Yay! My cousin claims it's from my aunt, but I suspect they colluded because cousin is younger than I and there's an unspoken rule that money only flows down the age stream. Also my unemployment status probably has something to do with it.

This happy circumstance was marred by the discovery that my dad has been hiding over $500 in traffic fines from me.

Injured pride is one thing. Making foolish short term decisions that have negative long term consequences to protect that pride is another entirely and I can't tolerate it anymore. I'm not one to talk back to my parents, I believe in maintaining a respectful, adult relationship, but darned if I let him get away with this lightly. I resent the fact that I have to lecture him for lying to me. If he'd just been honest with me in the first place, we'd be a team, not this unnatural reversal of parent-child roles.

It's less that I'm now out another unbudgeted $500, and more that I was raised never to lie and yet here I am, 27 years old and unable to trust my own father. I have to weigh the likelihood that he's just covering up another wrong. Is this what having bad kids is like??? What would you do if you could no longer trust your parent(s)? Or your entire family? Never in my life have I wanted to run away more.

*aggravated*

But you know. Birthday money. It'd cover the careless forgetting to pack funeral clothes thing, if I'd remembered to bring the gift card with me. As it is, I'm going to have to make an emergency trip to H&M for some suitable pants or a skirt because I was in a hurry to return with the family to the hospital. Also, I had no idea we'd be having the service within two days of his passing. So if I spend about $20, it'll be cheaper than driving 4 hours round trip to pick up what I have at home. To make up for it, I'll use the GC to pay the electric bill.

Forgot my pants, forgot my gift card, next thing you know, I'll be forgetting my own head!

I'm back from the hospital for a day and just checking in.

My iPhone has let me keep up with those of you who have full feeds in Google Reader, but I hope everyone is doing well. Y'all are amusing on Twitter, so that helps me get through the days, too. Just wish I could click on all the links of the enabling shoppers out there to see what goodies you're perusing. :)

My weekend visit doubled from the intended 2-3 days to a full 6 days at the request of the younger sib. Though a full 8 years younger than I, apparently my company was still of value and I could sense that the older sib and mother were both quietly hoping that I would stay and serve as sounding board for the youngster.

Holding a hospital vigil is terribly difficult on the spouse, but she's a rock. An insanely strong, even-keeled, upbeat rock. It shouldn't surprise me at all but it's almost inhuman how strong this couple is: Mr. Dad is fighting so very hard, and Mrs. Mom, from beginning to end, is always able to bear the burden and her kids are free to make the choices that work best in their lives. She makes zero demands, just a few reasonable requests for changes of clothing and has maintained her sense of calm far better than any of us kids. Oddly enough, that frees us all to be as strong or weak as we need to be, and tears have flowed freely. No repression here, folks. Not really, anyway.

She's only left the hospital three times since the hospitalization ten days ago, and that only to see to some crucial financial matters. It's our responsibility to keep her company, make sure someone is always with Mr. Dad if she stepped away however briefly, cook dinner, do laundry, clean the home, and just support one another. It's as guilt-free as you can get. They're amazing. Can I grow up to be just like both of them, please?

As the "adopted" daughter, I took over the domestic chores. We'd be at the hospital all day and late into the night, and when we got home I'd cook dinner for the next day. That's my ziti you see up there. I still have a nice little shiny spot on my thumb from accidentally pressing it against the 400 degree oven. Y'all don't like war wounds so I won't share a picture of that. :) That'll last my friend through the week, and I'll come up with something else for the weekend.

My friend's the oldest and so is, at times, a complete wreck when he feels the weight of his father's passing the responsibility for the family to him and his sibs. He's up to the task though, and knows that he has all kinds of support on the practical matters from me since the running joke is my love of all things financial makes me the father's favorite son. It's just heartbreaking because we still had so much to learn from his dad.

In the meantime, I've got to run a ton of errands and do something about my online classes. And then make the decision whether I should go back down to the hospital tomorrow, or if I should proceed with my travel plans that were made weeks ago. My heart and mind are going to be here, shouldn't I be as well?

In a way, it's good that I've done this before. The vigil, the family meetings, the doctors meetings, the family-doctor meetings. It means that I viscerally understand that there's a good time and not so good time to have visitors.

Friend asked me to be on call for my visit, so I've obliged. The original plan was to be there first thing this morning and take care of household stuff like laundry and cooking and cleaning. Stuff that their mom would feel compelled to do. But it turns out that it'd be easier for them if I were to be coming late this evening or early tomorrow morning.

In the meantime, I've done my deed for the day and emergency babysat for a girlfriend whose back has been bothering her. The timing was perfect: my day was opened up just a few minutes before she needed me. Now she's been to the doctor and back, tended to, and is resting.

Now I've got to rest up, and then pack. And also locate new, cheaper auto insurance. And perhaps renters' insurance as well. It's what he would expect.

Six hours after hearing the news, I'm still unable to breathe normally or stop the tears. There's no emotional distance to be had, not tonight, nor any of the composure I'll need when I make the call in the morning. Or in a few hours. It's already morning.

A very good friend's father lies in the hospital tonight. Today. He won't be coming home. Two of his children are already by his side, the third makes haste to arrange matters by tomorrow. A great heartache is in the offing, a great man is dying of end stage liver cancer.

Mr. S was one of the few adults left in my life who remained the pinnacle of a respected elder. He humbly set an example without ever breaking stride, without disappointing me by descending into pettiness like so many adults I've grown up among have done. He made smart, solid decisions, provided for his family and I really kind of wanted to be just like him when I grew up. He was, in many ways, like my beloved grandma.

I keep hearing myself say "but we still have so much to learn from him!" and "it's just not fair!"

And it's not.

I write in broken hope that it might ease the realization into my heart so that I can be there for the family in some small way this week. It has to, my throat keeps closing with grief when I remember why I'm going call them and see them.

It feels like I've been talking about doing this forever. I've certainly been thinking about it for the past 2.5 years. So why haven't I gotten my butt in gear?? Figure out who gets what, who gets how much, and get it notarized.

The truth is even when you don't have much, settling a will is a little more complicated. And in my household, nothing's quite that simple. Leaving aside the personal dynamics, my parents are my financial dependents. Mom can't be left alone anymore, it's a long story I don't have the heart to get into right now, but she simply cannot be left to her own devices. If she doesn't get hurt, someone else will. That means Dad is tied down as her caretaker since we can't afford to pay a fulltime caretaker - never mind the question of finding a good reliable one - unless he somehow finds a job that pays much more than I was making.

What all that means is that if anything were to happen to me or my dad, we'd be in a lot of trouble. The only thing I can do is insure myself and do the best I can by both of them.

For me, that meant life insurance. Like an idiot, I waited too long to start the life insurance application process, and then tried to do it while dealing with an awful work situation (pending layoff). That wasn't so smart. Burnt out, I resorted to expanding the employer-sponsored plan and just ported it to a personal policy at an exhorbitant rate. I'm paying $600/year for a piddlin' $200k policy. Mere peanuts for the price. But that and my other assets would get them both through about ten years of bare bones living.

For my dad, that meant long-term care insurance. Unfortunately (is this becoming a theme?), my dad refuses to quit smoking which was one huge factor in obtaining that policy.


Next, because I can't trust anyone in my family to properly manage money, (else why would I be doing it all?) I have to find two executors I can trust to manage my affairs as indicated, and would not be overly emotional about the whole thing. ie: They need to love me enough to do this for me, and be highly capable and competent. I don't employ an attorney or anyone in a professional capacity that I'd trust to handle my money.

I wish I could say that if something were to happen to me, my brother would step up, take care of the arrangements and make sure that my parents were well cared for. That's not gonna happen.

This step took way too long. Frankly, none of my good friends/peers are such good money managers that I'd trust them to administer to my family. That leaves me with the older generation, parents of friends. I have two sets of adults in mind, but now I have to make my wishes clear and as easy to execute as possible.

The last few months have been full of simplifying my finances and creating a document that summarizes everything I own in the way of accounts. Both Mrs. Micah and Funny About Money have blogged about that very thing recently:

Funny about Money: Preparing for the worst
Mrs. Micah: How to Save and Store Critical Financial Information for your Family

I still haven't decided if it's best to go with a trust instead of a will just yet, I'm not sure of the tax/benefit implications for my parents. My mom receives a very small disability stipend which doesn't cover more than a quarter of her living expenses, if that much, if my estate would derail that disability I'd need to know and budget for it. Also, I have to consider whether or not having an income from my estate would cost her health coverage, minimal though it is. She simply cannot be without health care.

In the meantime, Project Declutter continues apace. In theory, my material belongings should be pared down enough that most would be distributed as per my stated wishes in the will/trust, and the rest, like clothes, can be donated.

As for the advanced directive, it's probably the most straightforward thing of this whole process. I've got one friend who knows exactly what my wishes are AND will comply with them. He's going to have Power of Attorney for Health Care. That document just needs to be initialed, signed by two witnesses and notarized.

Has anyone fully completed their will/advanced directives yet? Was it simple or difficult for you to organize?

Being self-motivated while "between opportunities" has unique challenges; it's a bit more complicated when health issues get a vote in what you do each day. As some of you know, I've been raring to move out, move on, and make serious career changes. All the get-up-and-go in the world doesn't offset the physical considerations of an immune disease, though, so once again, I've had to make compromises.

When it's too hot out, I just want to stay in a cool, slightly dark hole. With free wi-fi. Failing that, the library. When it cools down, I'm not as thrilled as I should be because the damp and chill get right into my bones. Still, it goes against the grain to let pain and grinding fatigue dictate my entire schedule, so I'm eating the ugliest frog today. For the next six hours, or as long as the energy lasts, this is the action plan.

We'll start with discharging the internet obligations:
(while the laundry is in the wash)
1. Emails
2. Sign up for some courses online (anticipating huge reluctance here: it's going to cost $1250 just for the classes.)
3. Finalizing a freelance contract.

All things I can do from the comfort of my desk, after which it'll be on to the library to track down a textbook for that online class to save myself $26 (purchase) or $12 (renting from Chegg.com).

AND to make sure I don't lose track of time again - every day feels like Saturday now - I've created a Google Calendar. It's a departure from my usual obsessive pen-and-paper planner but it's free, it's lightweight ;) and it fits my newly evolving lifestyle.

Bonus tasks: pick up the dry cleaning, grocery shopping.

How's that for a SMART goal?

• David of Money Under 30 speculated can you make others care about personal finance?
• Miss M touched on a more personal aspect of the same question: When your partner doesn't care about money.

These are permutations of this question: How do you help others help themselves? Turns out, the answer can be quite simple: identify the appropriate resources and let them help themselves.

With the wealth of information and financial knowledge available online, I don't buy financial advice books. There are a few "classics" or commonly discussed books that are constantly referenced, but they're available at the library or through Paperback Swap, so it seems pointless for me to pay money for basic financial wisdom.

(Ramit would dispute this vehemently. But that's not the point. The point is here, I'm agreeing with his premise that sometimes you should spend money to save money. Point also made on Consumerism Commentary's podcast. So I guess you could read his post, listen to his commentary and skip this post. But you shouldn't! Embarassing story ensues.)

This (perpetual and time-consuming) willingness to root for information, however, isn't for everyone.

For those who are only interested in avoiding the biggest potholes but don't yet know how to identify them, the exhortations of an exasperated PF blogger to "know your budget, understand your spending, run your numbers!" just doesn't translate as constructive advice.

To fill that need, those black and yellow Guides for Dummies are good resources. I spent last weekend previewing the Mortgage for Dummies book because as an English major, I was skeptical of what seemed to be the Cliff Notes to money. The alternative, if the book didn't pass muster, was to go dredge up more mortgage advice links and posts which weren't terribly appealing in the first place. Plan B wasn't looking too hot.

Happily, I was impressed at the concise and engaging writing. It wasn't just my natural nerdiness and affinity for the material, either. After a few chapters, my non-blogger friend was moved to ask me questions about concepts raised in the book! Normally, this friend's eyes sort of glaze over a bit when I start in on my really involved financial diatribes. You know, the "I'm watching football lalalaaaaa" kind of look?

For the record: I got to explain why people pay for points when shopping for a loan. In some situations, if you're staying in the house long enough that your total interest paid is less than without paying for points (after factoring in the point cost) it's worth it. That summary is pretty ok, but my original example didn't clear things up, so I explained how I used the concept in a totally wrong and financially detrimental way.

When I bought my car *cringe* I made just about every mistake. I did negotiate and worked with the Fleet salesman instead of the floor salesman but that was about the only thing I did right.

Sensing blood, they presented a "pay for percentage" situation that only a total newb would fall for, and I did. *more cringe* They offered to knock a full percentage point off my interest rate, financed through a credit union they worked with, if I would pay an additional $1000 for GAP insurance. Since the car purchase was under duress (see Mistake #7) I wasn't prepared for the cash expenditure, thus, easily freaked out about the prospect of having to make up the difference between my drive off the lot value and appraised value if anything happened to the car early on.

They preyed on my ignorance and created fear of a situation that actually isn't impossible to bear. (Which is, btw, how most of them sell extended warranties and such.)

I should have considered the time horizon. The loan was written for 60 months even though I had no intention of taking that long. On the other hand, with all the financial turmoil at home, I also didn't know how long I'd stay in that loan. Predictions would have been wild guesses. I signed the paperwork, went home, and privately committed to paying $500/month instead of $370. It was PIF in 3 years - that reduced one percent was not worth it. I don't have the paperwork anymore, but roughly speaking, because I was dumb enough to roll that 1k into the loan, I paid 1k for the privilege of saving about $200. Yay me!

Back to the point: it's good to know that there are smarter folks than I out there writing guides to help those who just don't have the time for this kind of obsession. Simple writing is often the smartest writing.

There's something to be learned there.

My usual glee at a) getting something in the mail, b) getting a new toy to install, and c) finally getting something to take care of this MESS was slightly dampened by the fact that I'm home to receive it 'cause I don't feel good. Blech. I've leached out the grumpy, crabby commentary for your convenience.


My desk is a bloody mess, so if you'd like to see a ton of photos, feast your eyes on this guy's documentation of every single step. His was free (I think) - thus he has more responsibility on his plate, or at least a more complete review.

Set up: As long as you followed the instructions on the screen, with an occasional referencing of the manual, the set up is mild. The spiciest part is when you realize that you must use an Ethernet connection first to set up the wireless connection. Since my router is most inconveniently located a few rooms away, and this printer was h-e-a-v-y, having to set up an Ethernet cord for all of ten minutes made me crabby.

The installation guide naturally assumed that I'd have to manually confirm my network connection before beginning to scan, but that wasn't the case at all.

My first test print, though, was horrifying. First of all, the printer/feeder is LOUD. I mean, startle you from a deep sleep loud. And it jammed up first thing with a hideous bone-like crunch.

Program installation: There were about four other programs, including some Arcsoft stuff that I'm unfamiliar with, that were downloaded early in the installation process. I might have to spend some time removing those later if it turns out they're not essential to the printer's basic functions.

First print page: After the mangled mess of a first test print page, I conducted my own test print. Apparently Epson's only on board for one go at it - you're to shut off the machine and free up the works before continuing, but the software just assumes everything was hunky-dory. My draft print of some text worked just fine, but again, the noise factor is rather unbelievable.

Be aware that draft print seems to be quite the ink saver as the text prints out gray and pixelated - they do indeed skimp on that setting. That's fine. I'll just go grayscale next time. I notice that the Properties screen also offers a "Quiet Mode" option, but I'm not sure what that means. Since I don't have any immediate printing needs, that'll have to wait for later.

On to the scanning!!

Scanning: My goals are to scan in all mailed documents as PDFs so that's the setting on the LCD. Thus, to the Auto Document Feeder!

Test subject was a set of T-Mobile bills. The scanning process was very very slow. It asked for settings - which I prefer to customize at this time with each scan to be sure it goes where I want and does what I want. I skipped the preview option and went straight to scan. After feeding (or scanning from the screen) a box pops up asking if you want to Add Page, Edit Page, or Save File. I like this option - you can cram as many pages as you want into a file incrementally.

When you just Save File, it converts, and then sends the file to FineReader to "process," then it savesto the file designated for these test scans.

The feeder is also quite loud, and slow: it feeds one page about half or a third as fast as a regular standalone fax machine, possibly slower.

The clarity is pretty decent at 300 dpi resolution, and it's smart enough to rotate horizontally when it encounters landscape pages among the portrait. Not smart enough to differentiate between right side up or upside down, but that's asking a bit much anyway.

Cost: Originally priced at $179, I wouldn't have looked twice at this guy, but on sale at $129 and free shipping, decently priced OEM ink carts (though I will definitely look for better alternative pricing), I could deal. Wouldn't call it a steal, but it may be worth the money.

Overall: Outlook is promising - I'll revisit the issue in about three months to see how we're doing on the printing and scanning. It was a bit of a waste to get a five in one for my purposes since I don't intend to use the fax or photo printing options (ink is expensive!) but for a printer, scanner (with ADF) this best fit the profile.

Contact me for sponsorship opportunities at revanche.gs@gmail.com.

The Carnival of Personal Finance is up at Financial Highway!

My post on things you oughtn't say to someone who was recently laid off was included in this edition.

I hope all my US-based readers had a good Labor Day weekend!

Dough Roller's post on financial bleed caused by printer ink cartridges was particularly relevant to me this week as I finally purchased an Epson Workforce 600. I don't expect to print massive amounts, the point of the purchase being to reduce paper usage and all, but it's definitely a consideration.

My original intent was to make this decadent recipe of French Garlic Prawns from Almost Bourdain.

The shrimp was on sale for $5/lb, and 3/4 lb was sure to provide enough to cholesterol and artery cloggage for any two people I know. Cooking plans kept getting thwarted though, by one social obligation after another, all involving eating out and never anything so good as to warrant posting. That may be the real tragedy here.

Eventually, though, the shrimp HAD to be cooked lest it become another hapless casualty of Food Forgotten in the Fridge. That many Fs cannot be good for anyone: wallet or hygiene.

To replace the lavishly buttery baked shrimp recipe, a quick search of the fridge yielded a host of other ingredients that simply begged to be used worthily. Almost a whole bag of salad greens went onto the plates, followed by fresh tomato wedges just in their prime.

The shrimp - oh heavenly pre-deveined shrimp! - were peeled and lightly dunked in boiling water for the exactly right 45 seconds. As soon as they turned pink, lost all their raw grayishness, they were swished once, and rescued from the water. A cold water bath later, the perfectly cooked shrimp were crisp and yielded a satisfyingly textured crunch when bitten into.

Tossed onto their salad bed. A swirl of olive oil, a squeeze of lemon, and quick grate of pepper.

Perfection.

All for under $10.

8 West Coasties: in aggregate, it feels like we could have financed the GDP of a small small country. (Or perhaps a small territory.) Let's see if that's true with some approximations.


Variations: 1 night Fancy hotel+ 1 night Basic hotel/3 nights Basic hotel/2 nights Basic hotel shared room
Variations: Mostly 1-stop flights, two nonstop returns.

*Slightly edited for public consumption. This was written for a young relative who had never before evinced interest in the financial world, not even in the spending of money. Said relative approached me asking for some guidance on which credit card to get as the age of 21 was fast approaching and, ambivalently, "perhaps it's time." *

Dearest Relative,

Once upon a time, I used cardoffers.com to earn extra bonuses when applying for new credit cards; if you applied through their site, they'd offer to pay you an extra amount of cash (from $10-$75) depending on the card. I've gone through it and I don't see any good cards with an extra freebie this time so I'm going to say, for your purposes, the Citi Forward card is good.

Read the two following posts on the cards for more on what is offered, what you need to do, and how to max out the benefits of the card:

Jonathan's guide to $100 bonuses from credit cards (accessed 08.15.09)
Jonathan's review of the Citi Forward card

If you were willing to take the extra time (probably 30 minutes total over the life of the deal), I would suggest applying for the AMEX Starwood at the same time as the Citi Forward. If you get approved: activate it, make a tiny tiny purchase of a dollar or two to generate the bonus points, cash the points out, and call to cancel the card a few months down the road. It'll nab you an extra $100 of spending money right off the bat. Not a bad thing to have in the wallet since gift cards don't expire in CA.

As you get older and start using cards more regularly (and responsibly! I have to add that, you know that), I would recommend that you pick a second and third back-up card just in case there are problems with your original card.**

A few reasons this is worthwhile: as long as you are responsible with your spending, it's a fantastic back-up for purchase protection. If you were overcharged for something, and discovered it when you got home, you can be outta luck if you paid cash and the store refuses to acknowledge the mistake.

Building your credit history with just a few cards (you just have to have them, pay them in full, on time, don't believe that BS about having to carry a balance to build history) is useful. And the longer your credit history is, the better it is. It takes years, so this is a long term issue.

Another side of purchase protection: safety! It's not safe for you to carry tons of cash, and checks can very easily expose you to the risk of identity theft/fraud since your name, address and sometimes phone number are all printed on the check. If it can happen to Bernanke's wife, it can happen to you! When you're making a big purchase, you can put it on your card and pay it off when you get home.

** For example, my go-to credit card was out of commission when I was on my cross-country trip, I had to wait 7-10 business days for them to send the new card. I had other cards I don't use as much but ready to go in my wallet so I didn't have to withdraw a ton of cash or carry a debit card and lots of cash on me while traveling in the city. The great thing about American Express cards, at least before the recession, was that they would always overnight you a replacement card free of charge. I don't know if they still do now, but it was a cool and handy perk.**

As always, the key tenets to using credit cards responsibly is to make sure they work for you by not carrying a balance and being subject to interest charges, always pay on time to avoid late fees and two-cycle billing (to be explained at a later date), and be certain you have the cash to cover the charge.

When you're ready for more financial basics, let me know. I'm more than happy to whip up more cool sensible advice you want to hear. ;)

Today we put together one of our almost-frugally creative meals: bought a large bag of chips and juice boxes from Trader Joe's for double the volume, if not half the price, and used a BOGO coupon at the sandwich place for $7. The sandwiches are something like a cross between Subway and Quiznos, but much better overall.

It got me thinking about the advertising and coupon model. I know most businesses (should) have a line item or budget for advertising expenses, but for simplicity's sake, let's assume that at the end of the day, the income generated needs to cover all outflow.

A bit of research into Val-Pak revealed that I can't get pricing for the actual cooperative mail campaign, which is basically those blue envelopes you see in the mail chock full of coupon goodness, but they do estimate that your reach is 400k potential customers in a given time period.

Many restaurants are advertising during this economic slump, and two for one deals seem most common. Sit down eateries tend to offer one free entree with the purchase of one full priced entree plus two beverages, or some variation on that theme. Much like gas stations, the sandwich shop expects to recoup revenue in the form of extras: drinks, chips, and salads on the side. I think we all know by now that drinks carry huge profit margins for the restaurant, and a commonly touted cost-reduction strategy is to drink water instead of the highly overpriced soda.

But how many people really do spend the extra money on chips, drinks, and side salads? How many need to, of those that use the coupons, for the business to recoup the coupon discount? And how many MORE are needed to make up for those of us who only use the coupon as intended without buying extras? And in addition to all that, how much did they spend on advertising in those Valu-Paks in the first place?

Might as well call it an All-Spend day!

1. Returned stuff to Kohl's. Forget $10 off $20 coupon, so didn't pick up a few things which means I'll have to make another trip some other time.

2. Dropped off dry cleaning: $6. They'll get it done by tomorrow. Why do the turnaround times vary SO MUCH? Some things are done next day, others are scheduled for a 6 day pick up. Weird.

3. Starbucks, $1.10. Fruitless attempt to use their free wi-fi to get some work done.

4. Ordered printer, $106 after GC. Estimated ship/delivery time is on the order of two weeks. Rebellious part of me is screeching, order it from Staples and get it in 4 days!! Am studiously ignoring because the saved $25 went straight to a ....

5. CBLDF membership, $25. Chose not to receive any membership premiums (gifts) so that the money will go further.

The Comic Book Legal Defense Fund is dedicated to preserving the first amendment rights of comic book professionals and fight censorship in the United States. As Neil Gaiman (both a comic creator and a CBLDF board member) notes, "abstract political freedoms are a very good thing."

6. Researched local women's shelters/charities that accept professional clothing for homeless or battered women. Friend has lots of professional clothing she has no further use for, and she'd like it to go to a good cause. The one I'm thinking of is Dress for Success, but the only Southern California location that accepts clothing is San Diego. Does anyone have any suggestions?

More to do, but working on #6 until I'm through. This is a rare attempt to NOT multitask.

Note: It's official. The iPhone is smarter than I. At Starbucks, while I struggled to get away from the we're-gonna-charge-you T-Mobile hotspot, struggled to connect through the AT&T hub, and then find my username and password, the iPhone had quietly hijacked my single 2-hour daily session and was merrily checking email. All. On. Its. Own. It didn't even need to log in!! Jerk!

As this recession plods on, this list may become relevant or useful in your life. (I surely hope not!) But if it does, now you too can avoid foot-in-mouth disease!

Courtesy of WomenCo's Alice Handley and Tania Khadder:

1. “Are you freaked out?” [Duh. I mean, unless you're truly close to this person and know they won't be freaked out by the suggestion that they should be freaked out, and you can't tell if they are ... don't put that out there.]

2. “Do you know what you did to deserve it?” [I've got to wonder if people really ask this. Honestly? If you must know the probable cause, try "Do you know what happened?" Maybe.]

3. “You’re not unemployed, you’re funemployed!” [Patronizing as all get out. Just DON'T.]

4. “Have you started applying for new jobs yet?” [They probably have. I should hope they have. But even if they haven't, still reeling from the shock, I'd just be annoyed at the implication or pressure. But I'm contrary and prefer to be responsible on my own terms, not under pressure.]

5. “Have you thought about temping?” [Same as above.]

6. “Was it just you? Or did others get laid off too?” The authors say: This question implies that your friend’s layoff is palatable (or not) depending on who else got laid off at the same time. Does it really matter? What if it was just your friend? Do you really want to remind them that they were the only person at their company who was considered expendable on that particular day?

[Personally, maybe because the axe is falling everywhere and I knew my particular situation had zero to do with my personal performance or worth, this didn't bother me as much.]

7. “Have you filed for unemployment yet?” Authors: This presumes that your friend is even going to be applying for unemployment in the first place and that he’s actually eligible for it. Remember that some people have a hard time admitting that they need outside assistance. It’s hard enough for some of us to accept that we need help (or god forbid, “charity”) in the first place, let alone having to talk about it to other people.

[Eh. As a PF blogger, if a fellow blogger brought up a layoff I'm sure this would be the first we discussed. Well, that or the emergency fund. As a finance-obsessed layperson, my friends know that I'd be concerned for their financial well-being.]

8. " I can get you a new job!" [and the job is totally inappropriate] Authors: While the sentiment is appreciated, you’re presuming that the person you’re talking to is totally desperate for a job. A former Director of Marketing probably isn’t interested in waiting tables, and a pastry chef probably wouldn’t want to apply for a job in the Human Resources department.

While it’s definitely good to keep an eye out for your friends, don’t assume they’ll do just anything for a living. If you want to help, make sure you’re aware of what your friend wants before you start reaching out to contacts.

[Again, sort of duh.]

9. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” "And when life takes away my lemons?"

10. “Everything happens for a reason.” Authors: To the person being laid off, no reason seems like a very good one — and right after a layoff, it’s not easy to adopt a more long term, philosophical approach. Once the layoff has had time to sink in and the layoffee starts taking steps to get back on their feet, they might be able to see the bigger picture. Until then, be sensitive to their grief and understand that the situation is not ideal. End of story.
[Again, cliches = patronizing.]

My absolute least favorite? 11. You'll be fine.

Whatever happened to "I'm sorry to hear that, is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to talk about it?"

I've heard every single of the above platitudes more than once, and my reaction is basically degrees of annoyance. After a while it stops mattering but still, folks who haven't had time to digest their new circumstances aren't going to take it all that well. And if you're a friend, they deserve a little more thoughtfulness than the drivel most people spout.

Now, do excuse me. I've run out of cookies and I desperately need more.