Puttin' on the squeeze

Saturday, January 31, 2009 Posted by Revanche 3 comments
I'm calling in that 5k loan that was earning "interest" for me by working off my dad's debt to the borrower. Uh, yeah, so how does that work?

The borrower lent my dad money years ago during the beginning of our family's rough times. A few years later, he asked my dad if he knew anyone with ready money to loan him and offered generous terms for interest. Instead of paying the interest himself, he asked my dad to pay his debt back by putting up the interest money, if a lender was found.

I thought it was weird because the amount seemed piddling when you considered he was running an import business. How could he not easily raise/borrow $5? I guess the man had credit problems on paper, but the opportunity to keep the money in the family was there and I took it. That was four years ago.

Now, Dad's debt is "paid" down, and the principal is owed back to me. I know that business is bad for him, it is for everybody, but I can't take the risk of waiting longer - I was dumb enough to make the loan sans paperwork. We didn't set a due date for the money, either.

The whole thing was pretty weird. I don't know this guy well personally, but he's been fairly generous to my dad over the years. That's not to say he was outright charitable, he simply tried to set him up with business opportunities when available. Originally concerned that people would assume I had money, I wanted to remain anonymous; Dad was the intermediary since he was involved by dint of the interest anyway.

Yeah, of the pantheon of my stupid money decisions...... anyway, no matter how it ends, I won't be making that mistake again. (Knowing me, I'll find a more original dumb decision!)

By virtue of his and Dad's friendship, I'm pretty sure that the money's coming back but there's still a niggling doubt until that cash is in my hands. Since the debt Dad owed is more than square, there's no need to stress any longer; contact has been made and he'll be calling on Sunday to work out the terms of repayment (ie: the dropoff of money).

Time for that loan money to come home! (And potentially to be spent as moving money!)
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Supercharged baglady syndrome

Friday, January 30, 2009 Posted by Revanche 6 comments
Never would I have expected to have so much tolerance as my continued tenure at the current job implies.

It's pretty crazy/toxic now, but the following articles don't help to relieve that ever-growing knot in my stomach; it twists a little bit more each time I face the uncertainty of the economy, and the current unsettlement of my life:

Boston Gal brings us more of CNN.com's Horror Stories
Laura Rowley tells us that No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Actually, you know what? Don't read them. You don't need to freak out, too. I just need someone to pet me on the head and tell me, it'll be ok. It'll be ok. Except that might generate more annoyance, like static electricity.

So I might take Monday off. If I'm ten hours away from maxing out on vacation hours, taking that time will drop me below the maximum accrual limit. My account must credited every single vacay hour earned! (Huh, is that right? Or am I miscalculating? Might have already rolled over into fifth year of tenure which means higher accrual rate and ceiling. Will check with payroll folks.)

Either way, taking Mondays off feels better than Fridays. Is that weird? How does it even make a difference? A day's a day.

1. There's a bank errand that's been put off for too long, and it's time to visit a new-mommy friend.

2. Her baby is ... 8 months old now? 10 months? Whatever, still little enough for me to carry her around like a junior football. Cute!
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Still living like a college student

Thursday, January 29, 2009 Posted by Revanche 12 comments
Kelly at Almost Frugal posed the question: How much extra are you willing to spend?

In this case, she's looking for a new bed for her daughter. Her mother suggested that she just consider how much EXTRA she's willing to spend over a baseline price for the item. The theory behind this is that she's going to pay the baseline price anyway, the only consideration is how much a premium she's willing to pay on top of that.

That's very interesting: I've always taken total price into consideration, and didn't actively separate the purchase price from the premium.

In coming weeks, this purchasing perspective will be very applicable to my personal shopping needs. If a new apartment is in the works (I hope I hope!), I'm going to need some basic furniture and tools. Mostly kitchen stuff, and a basic tool kit.

Major factors include distance (how far will I lug stuff) and space (do I have room for stuff). The most significant issue, of course, is cost. Since I don't anticipate any crazy signing bonus, not a normal thing in my industry anyway, what I've got in the moving account is what I got. (A whopping $1498, if you're curious.)

It's a balancing act: take enough stuff - avoid shelling out cash for new stuff, pay to haul stuff.
Take too much stuff - no room for it, costs money to lug it to destination.
Take too little stuff - minimize moving expenses and buy at the other end.

With that in mind, I'm debating what to keep and what to leave behind.

A few months ago, my assumption was that when I moved, my parents would be moved out into a smaller, cheaper apartment. Reduce cost and required upkeep: less stress all around. Turns out, around here? No such thing as a cheaper apartment.

Get this: we're paying as much for our rent (3 bdrm, 2 bath house) as some folks pay for a 2 bdrm apartment. Can you believe that!? We have the amenities of a single family home (in home laundry, no share-the-wall neighbors) with the associated utility costs. Most importantly, though, we have the freedom to keep our pets. My sole surviving dog of our former 3-pack is a large breed, and no apartment within 30 miles will allow her breed or size. Not even for a premium. And there is NO WAY I will turn out my dog. None, nada, nope, never.

After parking, laundry, fees, and pets are considered, it doesn't look like we'd be saving more than a few hundred per month, if that. That means that staying put is an option, and that means that I could keep some of my heavier (really old) stuff in my room. Renting out one room to help with cost is a possibility, but I could also still keep my room and have a home base.

The desk: is a 12 year old heavy particle board executive desk. (Yes, I was a spoiled brat and *needed* the 6 foot wide desk with a hutch. We paid way too much for it. But I've used every inch of it and work at it every single night.) Doubtful that I would take it with, it's survived a couple moves but it's way too heavy for me to haul up and down stairs. I'd like to be as minimalist as possible in case I have to move all by myself.

The bed: is a 13 year old twin day bed. Same old frame and mattress. I'd like to take it with because it can be set pretty high off the ground to create extra storage space vertically. For once in my life I'd love a double, but it's not a need.

The bookshelf: it's comin' with me! I use a deconstructible (uh, is that a word? I'm not a wordsmith today) steel framed bookshelf. Nothing fancy. Just four shelves in black, and I like being able to hook things into the zigzags of the shelves.

A storage bench: this comes with me too. I got this storage bench from Ikea, unfortunately in white, but it's great because it's got foam padding on top and storage inside. A decent bed in a pinch. Maybe I'll just use that as a bed until I get a good deal on a real one?

Chair: I don't even know how old this desk chair is, but the hydraulics still work, it's got enough padding on the back to serve. It'll go with.

Lamps: My friend gave me his extra floor lamp a couple years ago and it's still working well, as is the ten dollar Target desk lamp that sits by my bed. Both go with.

Misc (Clothes, shoes, and books): I think the books will be the heaviest since I have so many paperbacks and trade paperbacks (comics). They're my indulgence! I have pared down the paperbacks, pulled out about 150 of them and a good friend who shares a PaperBackSwap account with me listed them for swap. It's awesome, I supply the books, he supplies the labor, we share the benefits of getting cheap books.

Some basic clothes will stay here, but all the comfy and professional clothes go with me. I've already spent a lot of time paring down here too, but I could use another concentrated go at it.

Same with the shoes: some will stay here, but I'd like to make sure we're down to the essentials only. The definition of essentials will depend on where I go.

Kitchen: there's nothing in this kitchen I would take from my parents, other than a few favorite glasses/mugs. Maybe the Brita. My parents don't like it anyway. For that, I've got about $80 left on a Bed, Bath and Beyond gift card and some coupons. A pot, a pan, a few dishes and utensils from Ikea should do the trick.

I wonder if it's too early to set my baseline prices for a bed and desk substitute?

I'm not sure if I'd be willing to yard sale a bed, but a desk would be fine. Perhaps I can hold out on shopping until yard sale season?

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In sooth, I totally suck

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 Posted by Revanche 6 comments
Hm, let's see ... ordered three prescription refills, sent off four more applications, had a wildly hormonal friend yell at me for not depending on her, this week. Uh, said friend is a self-admitted flake, by the way, so it sort of makes sense not to depend on her for y'know, dependability. I love her to death, would take a bullet for her, but dude. I'm not an idiot.

Except I am. When it comes to my family, I'm a complete moron.

We had what was possibly the world's worst Chinese New Year's Eve dinner on Sunday. Within 15 minutes, my brother had left the table under harassing verbal abuse fired by my mom, my dad was more than peeved that my mom wouldn't stop, and I finished my dinner standing by the sink because I was a millisecond away from losing it completely.

It's NYE! You're supposed to at least pretend to be nice! Yes, she's sick, and mentally unbalanced a lot of the time, but ... I just expected it to be no more than normal gripery. I hoped. Instead, it was ratcheted up about four notches, and I ended up sobbing, on my knees, in my room 20 minutes after sitting down to dinner, mourning my broken family.

Tonight, I figured out that I'm no better at this than they.

Apparently my rat of a brother told my mom that I think she doesn't love me. Oh, for heaven's sake. It's way more complicated than that. Of course she loves me, it's just that she's so infrequently herself anymore that it's like I don't have a mom anymore. That, and we've had incidents where she made nasty comments about how she can do whatever she wants because I don't have feelings. I know she's not in her right mind when she does and says things like that. Or I know after the fact, but it still hurts to see my mom's face, hear my mom's voice, and believe that those are her thoughts. Instead, I try to understand that this isn't my mom anymore, there's got to be some way to hold on to my rationality. Sometimes she is, but so rarely that it hurts less to think of her as someone else during those episodes.

Hearing that I thought she didn't love me, she approached me and tried to tell me she did love me. And what did I do? I freaked out and said I couldn't talk about it.

It's complicated. I don't know why I couldn't just say, "I know," hug her, and let it be. It might be because she started in on all the reasons things should be fine now and I shouldn't think "like that." She tried to tell me that she's fine, that she knows they couldn't have survived this long without me, that she tried for as long as she could to work - even sick - to help me support the family.

Firstly, we're not "fine," and having her so sick she can't hold a job anymore does not equal "getting what I wanted!" I wanted her to stop working, get well, start working. Not work to near-death! Not to mention the screwy dynamics in which either parent will bend the truth as necessary so force me to be happy. Never mind the fact that forthrightness and good health are all I'm asking for. And a little cooperation.

But the kicker was that last comment, that got me right in the gut. That is exactly why I've been so upset with her for so long. I'd begged, pleaded, and argued with her to take care of her health for years; I knew that the pittance she could earn meant nothing to me if her health failed. Her marriage was changing, too, she was angry with my dad for all his mistakes and all his bad decisions, and insisted on expounding on all the negative things she felt he did to her, literally every chance she got. It was the Worst.

Again, I begged, pleaded, that she concentrate on her health, exercising, eating better, resting. And she refused. She refused my help with her diet, she refused my concern about her diabetes, she refused to listen. She insisted that she was right, dammit, and that she needed to worry, fuss and tizzy. And refused to take care of herself, determined to sacrifice herself to the last for the family. Except it never works that way, does it? She didn't go down in a final, noble flame, she didn't come back on her shield, she simply ... broke. She went from a strong, smart, clever role model, to a hand-wringing, anxious, physically sick, out-of-her-mind dependent, seething with anger and resentment.

Somewhere between her eventual breakdown and now, my dad finally stepped up and started to take care of her and her medical needs. But before that happened, I lost my mother to his multitude of mistakes, and her self-inflicted maelstrom of negativity. To survive day to day, I had to divorce myself emotionally from them, and from her. And of course, that hurt her even more.

And I keep hurting her, the more distance I put between us, but I can't close the gap yet. I should. I need to. But I .... can't.
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Forget the have/have nots, how about what you did/didn't do?

Posted by Revanche 7 comments
Things I wish I'd done in the last five years:

1. Started a CD ladder. Even if it were just a little thing with a few hundred per step, I wish I'd realized that I wouldn't need everything in the e-fund immediately.

2. Contributed more to the Roth: it's the only investment I have that's doing well in this market.

3. Applied for a job in San Diego in the comic book industry two years ago. I was afraid to take the leap and it would been really cool to have a foot in that door.

Conversely, I'm glad that I did not:

1. Go straight into grad school out of college. Not only would I be in debt, I wouldn't have known what my professional strengths and likes/dislikes were.

2. Continue to bail out my brother. Telling my brother that his free ride was OVER might have been painful for me to say, unbelievable for him to hear, and shocking for fellow bloggers to read, but it was past time that he started to grow up. Of course, my decision alone didn't matter until he'd hit rock bottom, but it was the right thing to do at the right time.

3. Let go of my responsibilities before I was ready, as some friends encouraged me to do. They just worried about me, but my OCD attachment to PF over the years has been a blessing in this blog, the friends I've made through the community and the knowledge I'm able to use and share.


While washing my hands this morning, I had two long term goals occur to me:

1. In the job after next, I would like to be earning a six figure income.
2. And I want to save half of that income. My portfolio/net worth would be SO awesome!! Muahahha.....

Anybody else reflecting on their dids and didn'ts lately? Care to share?
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Citi remains a benevolent beast

Tuesday, January 27, 2009 Posted by Revanche 5 comments
For now, anyway. The Driver's Edge card is one of my most rarely used credit cards, but it came out recently for the window/lock repairs and covered a good $160 of the $180 mechanic bill.

Unfortunately for me, the due date was on January 1st and I completely flubbed the payment. Don't ask how, I can only blame the stupidity that is my complete confidence that I wouldn't forget to look at my planner in the middle of a 2 week holiday break. Yep, totally thought that one through.

Of course, I incurred a cute little $15 fee and a finance charge on top of that (83 cents) for the pleasure of using my rebates (and being stupid, yes). For about a week I considered just paying it and keeping my mouth shut because one, it was totally deserved, and two, it's not a $29 fee.

Luckily, I came to my senses and gave them a call. I didn't lie, I just asked if they would waive the fee. In under two minutes, the CSR cheerfully waived both the fee and the finance charges and sent me on my way.

It's awfully nice that they're still willing to waive fees so easily, considering the straits the company is in, and I thoroughly appreciate it. After all, every penny counts in this economy!

Besides, after paying a huge stupid tax via the towing fees and associated pain, I'd like a little credit for having paid some dues. :P
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Life insurance comes in all kinds of flavors

Monday, January 26, 2009 Posted by Revanche 0 comments
and prices. Whooo, the prices!

I don't know how frequently I've talked about getting life insurance, separate from my employer-sponsored plan, but I'm pretty sure I called last March the month of insurance. What a liar.

Well, it took me two days to get my butt in gear THIS time, but I've finally requested quotes from a variety of companies, and they really run the gamut.

I started with looking for companies with higher ratings on A.M. Best, but that kinda just confused me, and wasn't terribly fruitful. I came up with the following: AAA (wouldn't give me an online quote), Mercury (doesn't do life insurance), Wawanesa (also doesn't do life insurance), Commerce West (again, same story).

Finally, I just gave up on the A.M. Best angle, clearly that was going about things backwards. It was time for known quantities and Googling. Mostly Googling because not many of my friends have life insurance. I also wasted about 30 minutes lecturing a friend about how important life insurance was; it's not hypocrisy, she's pregnant! With a child. Life insurance is critical! Of course, I've got dependents already, so why was I still on the phone and not getting quotes? Right right.

So, friends: one gal has her policy through Farmers, but "it was through hubby's friend, and I don't know if I got a good deal." And work: provides life insurance through Prudential. Good enough, I started with those two companies and worked up quotes for both.

The baseline information was: 26 yr old Female, short, thin, non-smoker with no family history of cardiovascular disease, cancer, etc., for a 30-year Term policy for $2 million.

Honestly, that number was initially just a randomly chosen number, but after I used a few calculators to estimate my family's insurance needs given existing debt (I don't have any but the padres do), living expenses for 20 years (my people can be long-lived), and existing savings, it came extremely close to that $2 million. Crazy, huh?

And I chose term life after reading so very many articles arguing the merits of term versus whole life insurance. Jim at Blueprint for Financial Prosperity explains the differences here. Most term policies have the option of converting to a whole life policy, but I'm not certain that's really necessary. Then again, I might be looking at this wrong: with auto insurance, I'm accustomed to shopping around and being able to replace my existing policy at any given time. That's probably not the case with life insurance, you probably don't want to have to be re-insured at a later time in life because, theoretically, you're going to be facing higher rates. Then again, the rates can be pretty high just for term, I'm not sure I could afford whole life.

Anyway, the quotes ranged pretty wildly.

The lowest bid came from Prudential: $965 per year.
The others came in at $1000/yr (Midwestern), $2400/yr (Farmers), $1500/yr (Liberty Life), $1300-2700/yr (State Farm).

All the above companies were fairly highly rated, they're all at least A ratings, with a Stable indicator. Of course, most of the ratings were from last spring so there's certainly a chance that they aren't doing as well now.

Now that I've taken that first step, and requested a few applications, I'm not really sure how to choose. I feel the need to do more research on the actual policies: coverage, restrictions, etc. Also, it'd be great if I could select a company that provides both auto and life coverage for a discount.

In any case, if I plan to pay the annual fee in full, though, the insurance fund is going to need a boost. Just at the wrong time, too!

Has anyone else gone through this selection process or care to share what sort of life insurance you have?



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Yes, I'd like to cancel my free cable service

Sunday, January 25, 2009 Posted by Revanche 8 comments
And no, I'm not crazy, Dish Network retention services department guy. My time is worth more than .... nothing!

Finally called Dish today, for what seems like the 875th time in the last year and a half. Their website keeps sending Yodlee bills for a total of $46.37 at last check, while never actually allowing me to view any bills or statements. This annoys the heck outta me because I should be getting free service for at least another 8 months! The previous 870 calls were about actual statements I was receiving in the mail for services I kept trying to cancel; this is a new twist in their game.

It turns out that the amount is a credit on the account to offset the automatic billing of $10.81/month, but I'm fed up with my budget tracking getting screwed up by the errant billing every month. And we don't use it anyway, so I asked Nick to, please, just cancel the account.

"You .... want to cancel your free cable?"
"Yes, I know it sounds crazy, but please please cancel it. I've spent WAY too much time on the phone with your CSRs, not that they weren't perfectly nice, but waaay too much phone time has been wasted over this account."
"Um, ok, if you're sure...."

So that's it. A box should be sent out, a neck will be risked to remove the thingy from the roof, and they'll stop telling Yodlee I owe them money. I hope.
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Hold the hot chocolate, I've been tagged

Saturday, January 24, 2009 Posted by Revanche 6 comments
This was originally posted on January 18th, but I've updated for self-taggers.

Alright, I've got to stop rumor-mongering because making blog-buddy Bart of A Certain Je Nes Sai Quoi nervous means I get tagged. Because it's my lazy Sunday and I'm really tired, I'm keeping them at Bart's 4 instead of the original 8. I know you're fine with that.

4 Things I'm Passionate About:
  • Reading
  • Learning
  • Food
  • Relationships
4 Words or Phrases I Use Often:
  • Dude...
  • Seriously?
  • "He like blondes. Chubby ones."
  • Owww...I'm so out of shape!!

4 Things I Want to Do Before I Die
  • Explore the world.
  • Make sure my family's been taken care of.
  • Run a good animal rescue.
  • Learn to speak Italian, Spanish, Japanese, Chinese, French, German and Portuguese fluently. (Or at least three of the above)

4 Things I Have Learned From the Past
  • I've been known to speak in haste. It's funnier when other people do it.
  • It's better to ask questions and learn than stay silent and hope for the best.
  • I'm really a bad cook. Much better at baking and eating.
  • Helping other people is always easier than doing the same task for myself.

4 Places I Want to See or Visit
  • New Zealand & Australia (combo trip)
  • Austria
  • Italy
  • Himalayas

4 Favorite Restaurants
  • Thai Kitchen
  • Mi Piace
  • There's a Shanghai dumpling place in SF ... that I don't know the name of.
  • Gyro cart in NY :)

4 Things that Happened Yesterday
  • We tried Fish & Farm in the Tenderloin. Delish.
  • Random napping.
  • Woke up really early.
  • Decided to try a Neutrogena skin product instead of Clean & Clear.

4 People I Tag
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Greed and playing the race card

Wednesday, January 21, 2009 Posted by Revanche 4 comments
Mmm, I knew there was likely to be quite a few people taking advantage of the free make-up being disbursed due to this lawsuit, but I know someone who is really pushing the envelope, and bragging all over the place about it, to boot.

Having already made her rounds of one mall yesterday with a young teenager in tow, they collected 16 free items, and she plans to make another round of two malls tomorrow with the goal of picking up at least another 32 free perfumes and make-up items.

When someone else in line was told they couldn't come through the line more than once, she encouraged this person to go through multiple times, belligerently and challenging the sales clerks as if they were in the wrong for enforcing the rules of the disbursement. She herself was looking for a fight, saying that "if the sales clerk picked on her? She would create a ruckus, cause the line to be shut down, and threaten them with a lawsuit for discriminating against her because she's black."

All because she has a "right" to collect as much free stuff as she wants. That's it. As she tells it, she's not giving the stuff away to charity, to friends, to family, to anyone in "need." She just wants to get as much as she wants to get.

Um, what?

I'm not sitting here saying that corporate giants can't absorb the cost of the products, they're required to give away $175 million worth of make-up after all, it's the whole point of this giveaway. But threatening a lawsuit? Harassing the sales clerks, glaring at them and giving them the evil eye on someone else's behalf? Accusing people of racism when it's got nothing to do with the issue at hand? All because you "need" more free stuff?

That just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. There's real racism out there, and real issues to be talked about. There's something wrong about using those hot-button words just to enable greed.
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Somniloquy

Posted by Revanche 8 comments
Psst, is anyone else up? No?

*sigh* I thought not.

It's been awfully quiet around here because, uh, I've been doing all my blogging in my sleep. Between huge commitments at work - trying to complete two weeks' worth of projects in 4 days, 'hunting, revising paperwork, prepping wardrobe attire, catching up on the occasional news update (Hello, Mr. President!) and all, it's no wonder I haven't been coherent. It's hard to see through your eyelids...

Little update:

Truck
Looks like we have a buyer! We're holding a $300 deposit pending the receipt of the title. I was first told it's a standard 10 biz-day processing before the title is sent, but I've been looking for ways around that. Initially, the only thing they suggested was to provide a FedEx account number so that at the end of the 10 days, Toyota could just overnight my title, but that only saves me a day or two, and costs money. Meh, not a fan. After making another call to the same call center, I got a nice lady who suggested that I fax her a copy of my bank statement showing the payoff amount debited from my account. With that information, she could begin the paperwork for the title immediately. She gave me a fax number and I've pulled that paperwork together.

Being the suspicious sort, though, I made one more call to see if there was anything else she needed to complete the paperwork. Also to verify that this one lady wasn't trying to pull any funny business with getting my bank statement. :) No, guess it's standard -expediting- procedure.

So: Faxed. Done! That buyer better not back out! *glare*

The Hunt
Rescheduled the appointment again: first, had to change the flight itself for an earlier arrival. Then had to change the arrival time again. Bah. Is this disorganization on their part? Or just scheduling issues? Whatever the case, I'm on a mission to knock their socks off tomorrow, wish me luck! *singing* "On the road again ...."

Finances
Picked up another little overtime check, and finally received my holiday check as well. That's e-fund and moving money.

Ok, I'm starting to get a little dotty. Better sign off and get on going!
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Inauguration Tuesday

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 Posted by Revanche 3 comments
Only a few people got the day off today - I'm not one of them - so I got to watch the inauguration events via MSNBC's video link.

Hope all who attended, or stayed home to watch, were warm, hydrated, and as comfortable as could be!
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Bye bye, $2,355.49 and hello Title!

Thursday, January 15, 2009 Posted by Revanche 10 comments
I think *gulp* I'm gonna do it. Without the title in hand, it's a bit harder to sell the truck because potential buyers don't want to wait 7-10 days to complete the paperwork and sale. So I'm going to send my payoff to Toyota. Yipes!

This is half my expense cushion! But it shouldn't make a real difference; I'd have to pay it over the next six months, regardless of my employment status.

It makes sense if it eases the sale process, I just have cold (spending) feet!


Edit: Did it. Just did it. Whew!
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+ $17 organization

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 Posted by Revanche 2 comments
Perhaps even more important than my $17 cash, not having to go to the DMV to replace the missing registration card and sticker for the truck is a huge coup!

Ms. Organization over here managed to lose the registration card to the vehicle we'd all love to see the back of somewhere in Cleaning Central. Ironic.

Thankfully, halfway through filling out the replacement form, I decided that it was worth yet another pass through the stuff on my desk, and actually found the dang thing stuck to the back of an envelope.

Finally, something I can cross off my list of things to do. Score!
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Mysterious quarter-sized charges

Tuesday, January 13, 2009 Posted by Revanche 4 comments
The Boston Globe reports that many people, possibly millions, have been seeing unidentified 25-cent charges on their credit card statements.

The charge shows up on statements as coming from "Adele Services" in Melville, N.Y. There is no business by that name listed in Melville, or registered to any business anywhere in New York, for that matter.

Two theories of what is going on have advanced on message boards and among consumer advocates: Someone is trying to find out whether an illegally obtained credit card number will work before making a bigger charge, or they're trying to rip off tiny amounts from tons of people.

The latter theory has more credibility at the moment. The Better Business Bureau in Louisville reports that, at least so far, those who have been hit with the small charge have yet to get slammed with a bigger charge. The bureau speculates that the number of possible victims could be in the millions.

The article cautions consumers not to just let the charge slide "because that's what the thieves want."

Now why on earth would someone allow a false charge to pass on their account? You don't know if it's just a tester charge and a prelude to a major shopping spree on your credit card! Feh, I don't care if it's a dime they're charging on my credit card. If I didn't authorize it, I'm not paying that and the credit card company would be put on notice immediately. No messin' around with my money!

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Shoes!

Posted by Revanche 3 comments
These babies complete my suit outfit:



I know, they're not crazy 3 inches beauts like some other bloggers's selections, but I'm just not coordinated enough to do those shoes justice so I'm going to stick with what I know - comfort with a little twist.

They're a lot pointier and greener than I expected, but that's ok.

I'm actually attempting to match my bag and shoes, and using complementary colors to coordinate my outfit instead of using the standard white button down shirt and black suit combo, for the first time in my life 'cause I'm taking this interview seriously. ;)
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Revelations: difference between rich and poor

Monday, January 12, 2009 Posted by Revanche 7 comments
LAL at Living Almost Large and Grace's comment at Meg's World of Wealth articulated something I'd been feeling rather strongly this weekend about financial security. Meg's original article, My 2009 Gift Tax Exclusion, discussed the money gifts she's received over the years from her family, and Grace's comment resonated with both LAL and me:
That's one of the big differences between the truly poor and the middle/upper classes--no one to turn to in a financial emergency.
It's so very true. This weekend was rough because I realized that I'm running out of time to secure a job before losing this one, and I got scared. And I mean s-c-a-r-e-d.

Frankly, the tizzy was my fault because I read the New York Times knowing that there's no good news to be had. I should know better. Several articles about layoffs upon layoffs upon terrible economy upon too many overqualified applicants for too few jobs sent me into a Spaz Out.

Yes, I've been proactive about formulating an exit strategy, getting my resume out and searching consistently for a good position. And kept busy by cleaning and purging stuff, and dealing with family troubles. It's more than enough to keep me emotionally even-keeled. But ....
1. I have 8-10 months of emergency money, but it doesn't take into account the cost of COBRA. (So yeah, the next budget I draw up is for a jobless existence.)

2. An arthritis flare-up this weekend reminded me that I really can't go without meds or health insurance.

3. Most fundamental: Once I go through that money, and call in one of the loans for extra cash, that's it. That's all the money and support I have. That's the point at which I'd be broke and start going into debt to get by. [Horror]
I had a heck of a time working through it. My bag lady fears were out in full force because as Grace pointed out: I have no one to turn to. Certainly not my parents, and my extended family doesn't have money to spare. As my friend put it, "You have you."

I couldn't understand why my friends pooh-poohed the gravity of the situation. This is the worst economy we've seen in how many years? I've been searching for months now, and have one paltry lead. [Today, a lead is a lead. I only need one full time job for now. Side income is always welcome.] Lengthy unemployment is a reality for so many people, what makes me special enough to be spared? I've always been a go-getter but there is so much that's out of my hands in this situation.

Anyway, not only was I panicking, I was frustrated, until this morning, that everyone dismissed it as no big deal. It's because they all have safety nets: they could move home. They could borrow money. They could be given money. They have family members who are an implicitly accepted resource.

In Meg's second installment, The Effects of Not Having to Struggle Financially, she lists all the things she's never had to do:
I've never had to save for long periods of time before getting something I really wanted. I've never had to wonder how to make ends meet that month. I've never had to work a job I didn't like. I've never had to say "no" to a trip or dinner or experience because I couldn't afford it. I don't have to worry about having health care coverage or getting laid off or not being able to make my mortgage payment.
I've lived all of the above for years, but my friends haven't had to do a single one of those things. She's got a good point about the probable "deep level of peace and satisfaction that they now have by having gone through all that to get where they are."

There's still a long way to go before I reach peace, clearly, but at least I'm more Zen even if my friends can't understand the mindset that sends me into flurry of worry. They're just not poor; I'm looking forward to a time when I don't have to think that way either.

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Gadgets and Doodads

Posted by Revanche 2 comments
In the quest to purge, purge and purge, I'll need a few items to maintain a (relatively) paper- and clutter-free existence.

Thus far, through the generosity of friends with technology, I've scanned and shredded over twenty pounds of documents from 2004 to 2008. All credit card, banking - both checking and savings- statements, and most bills were switched to paperless billing. A few things like insurance, municipal utilities and rent aren't online, so a modest stack of that stuff is piling up again.

So, item number one: a scanner. If the printer my relatives gave me two years ago, and my dad commandeered, has a scanner, I'm going to take it back and check that off the list.

Number two, a shredder. Hadn't budgeted for this yet but should purchase one sometime before my move, or just after. Whenever/however that turns out, that is.

Number three was a media card reader but this was crossed off after I bought a laptop that came equipped with a card reader. Should test it out, then, pictures will return to the blog!
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Home buying mania

Friday, January 09, 2009 Posted by Revanche 9 comments
Another one acquaintance has succumbed to the I need to own a home NOW syndrome.

Recently engaged, she and her man have been seriously condo-hunting for a few months now, rejoicing in the fact that housing market is ripe with plums for the picking. She's not made any PB & J declarations, but they've gotten pre-approval for a loan so they feel confident in their ability to secure a purchase of a short sale in the next few months before their summer wedding.

Again, in a purely hypothetical sense, if I were to be asked for my advice .... well, my mental alarms are working overtime.

I'm familiar with some aspects of their finances from a few get-togethers:
The fiance, X, is self-employed. A year into running his own business, he's done well enough for himself that he's able to cultivate long-term clients rather than taking every short or long term project that comes his way. That's quite a good direction to develop. He's made a good 5-figure income. Plus!

They both have retirement accounts - maybe not fully funded, but definitely funded. Plus!

They scaled back their entire wedding and turned it into more of a backyard affair because they didn't have anything saved for the wedding, and didn't want to take on another $10-15K of debt. Good move. Plus!

But, they didn't have anything for the wedding because X spent about 20K on her ring. I'm not saying there's a "right" amount to spend, just that they are out that much money that could have been for the wedding or their e-fund. Either way: Minus!

His ladylove, Y, is about to lose her job. She doesn't know when, but a layoff is imminent. Minus!

Y also hasn't had any success in landing another job that I know of, and because she's entirely caught up in wedding planning and house-hunting, I can't imagine that she's devoted any time to a job search. Minus!

In my eyes, that'd be the most basic of needs in a three-priority situation like this: Find a job, then get married, then buy a home.
Then, too, my other concerns remain:
Tracking routine expenses - Y loves her clothes, accessories, and expensive tech equipment. She also has no head for caring about numbers. (Note: she doesn't have to be an expert, just willing to pay attention.) That has to stop if they're taking on a mortgage with one income while accustomed to two.

Health - Neither will have employer-sponsored health insurance after the job loss. They're young and healthy, but can't afford any emergencies or accidents (how well can any of us?). It'd be important to have a contingency plan, whether it be buying insurance or setting aside emergency health money. If nothing else, catastrophic health insurance would be a really good idea.

Moving costs - This would include closing costs and associated fees. I'd hope that they don't end up paying for unnecessary points or junk fees, but as novice home-buyers, that's always something to watch out for.

Also, while they may pass on purchasing new furnishings right into their new gates, some maintenance issues will probably come up. They're looking at short sales, and the condition of those homes are not going to be the same as that of a new build.

Taxes - self-employment, primarily, for both. X, of course, will have planned better for his upcoming tax bill, and Y might have since she did have some contractor income. Those will have to be addressed some time this year.

And I don't know when property taxes are assessed, but can they afford property taxes? Are they prepared?
Not to be the ultimate party-pooper, but I would strongly urge them to re-assess the commitment they're about to make together. To the home purchase, not to each other! I think their relationship is fine, but can see how making a hasty, major purchase could strain even the strongest marriage.

What do y'all think? Have I missed anything else?

And what would you do in this situation? Do you think my caution, concern and conservatism are (perhaps, wildly) misplaced?
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Better than a punch in the arm

Thursday, January 08, 2009 Posted by Revanche 4 comments
Guess the no-bonus unlove was some sort of mistake. Corporate will be cutting a new one and sending it out to me in the amount of ..... not very much!

I'm not complaining, nor am I surprised that it's only going to be $300. It's not even being called a bonus, it's marked as a Holiday Gift.

Guess I'm just bemused. We've been "spoiled" in the past by the generous bonuses, and they were all instrumental in my progress through the years, but my budget never hinged on them. (Thank goodness!)

Hah, it just occurred to me that it's so small that I don't even have to worry about how this impacts the tax planning. Every cloud and silver lining, right?

Anyway, it'll probably go right into the emergency fund, that'll be nice.


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Purposeful Spending

Wednesday, January 07, 2009 Posted by Revanche 0 comments
There have been more careless spending times in my life, but the last few weeks have to be right up there with the best (worst?) of them. It looks like I've just been wildly swiping my credit card, always picking the one with the best rewards as applicable, of course, so I was a little spazzed about reviewing the totals. Looks like it wasn't too bad, though, and most of the spending was really goal-oriented: work or health.

Many of the expenses were intended to draw down the remainder of my 2008 FSA account:
4 doctor's appointments: $60
Prescriptions, new or refills: $19.90
Massage therapy for my medical condition: $55, I hate that stress costs me real money, but it sure teaches me to take better care of myself. And it was budgeted.
Actually, I managed to max out the 08 FSA before I was through. That bumped my eyeglasses replacement order to January.
2009 FSA:
New eyeglasses: $39, after my health care plan's credit was deducted. Since I'm a novice eyeglasses wearer, and was too harried to properly measure my face, it was worth the time and money to go through my medical plan.
The optician spent a lot of time discussing the options: explaining that the polycarbonate plastic lenses are guaranteed never to break, that silicon nose pads were recommended and swapped them out for me, trimmed the length of the arms and fit them to my face. These were all services that a mail order store couldn't have performed to my satisfaction. Heck, I didn't even know to ask about adjusting the length of the arms in the first place! It seemed like a stupid question at the time, but it was even stupider not asking when the glasses were first scripted out.
Nyquil/Dayquil:
$12. Some virus is going around and the orange and green pills are keeping me functional.
Other OTC drugs:
$? Still need to stock up on pain relievers and probably some more cold/flu medication.
Clothing/shoes:
Suit: $11, best deal ever!
Shoes: $30, um, not the best deal ever. But it's for a good purpose! Matching is a good purpose.
Tailoring: $?, will know the estimate once the jacket and two shirts are dropped off for nips and tucks.
Eating out:
Again, it felt like we ate out a lot. We did more frequently than I'm accustomed to, but it was a combination of eating away from home and eating out. The former was just eating meals at friends's homes while visiting, while the latter probably consisted of 4 meals for a total of $25.
Just got another email asking if we're up for dinner, drinks or pool tonight before the last friend straggles back home to NorCal, though.


Happily, lots of the fun stuff was free: hanging out with friends at their houses, watching shows and movies they already had, opening presents that we'd already spent on, etc.

Regardless of the intent, I don't want to get in the habit of mindlessly spending. It's way too easy to stop thinking about whether or not I need that item, and just buy 'cause I want it.
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Salary transparency: where do you stand?

Tuesday, January 06, 2009 Posted by Revanche 16 comments
Does the idea of your salary or net worth being public knowledge make your skin crawl? And I don't mean within the relatively sheltered PF blogging community where many of us blog anonymously, I mean in your everyday life. Would you share the details of your financial life, to any degree, with friends and family willingly?

I always thought that salary transparency in the workplace made sense for the employees. After all, as the question is commonly asked, what does the company/employee have to lose? The opportunity to be paid a fair wage? The arguments for sharing salary information are cogent, as blogger Penelope Trunk points out that "the only party protected by secrecy is HR ― no one can see how arbitrary salary decisions are. Who wins the highest dollars? Good negotiators, personable people and people who bring in intangible benefits, she says."

Then again, those not in favor of transparency argue that comparing salaries by job title doesn't take into account many other factors, like abilities, performance, and motivation. Or negotiation skills.

I've recently used both PayScale and Glassdoor to suss out the salary range for my current job as well as my boss's job to get an idea of what kind of salary requests and expectations are reasonable in my field, yet find myself strangely uncomfortable with the notion of telling a personal friend how much I make.

I feel like I goofed big time this holiday when my best friend in the whole world, with whom I can discuss almost everything, asked me in front of another longtime friend how much I made. (The longtime friend and I aren't terribly close.)

My big mouth slipped and revealed my base salary, even though she thinks what I consider a modest salary range to be "a lot of money," right in front of the other friend. Their body language both said "whoa!" Immediately, my reaction was, "aw crap, I should not have gone there!" It's silly - my discomfort stemmed from not wanting them to think I was rich. I'm not! And I did point out that if I were to make a little more than that, it still wouldn't be much because moving out would create two households to be supported. But even if they were aware that I make ok money, what does it matter? If they're going to be part of my network, doesn't it make sense for them to have an accurate sense of what I'd expect to be paid? Yeah, that doesn't matter, I still feel weird about it. Even my family doesn't know how much I make! (There's a good reason for that: my ...special.... brother would definitely assume that I was rolling in easy money and try to take even more advantage of me than he already has.)

How would you feel if your friends knew how much you made? Would you feel comfortable discussing that?

Related reading:

The case for sharing your salary details: MSN Money UK
What Am I Worth?: TheGlassHammer.com
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This week, while I'm eating baby bok choy....

Monday, January 05, 2009 Posted by Revanche 0 comments
A friend just dropped off about 8 pounds of baby bok choy. He volunteers at a charity and occasionally, food donations from farms, grocery stores or whatnot overwhelm their storage, cooking and distribution capacity. This weekend, for example, a farm dropped off two pallets of vegetables. Pallets, not crates, or boxes, pallets stacked with boxes crammed full of leafy green vegetables.

It's wonderful that those they're helping will be treated to fresh vegetables, but that's way too much for them in one go, so they sent the volunteers home with a case, each. I'm going to be eating baby bok choy, fresh, delicious, crunchy, baby bok choy for a WEEK. This is awesome for I love love love bok choy. In fact, my aunt's family will be, too - there's no way we can eat up that entire sack of veggies by ourselves.

And while I'm eating that lovely veggie, in soups and various other forms, I'll be:

Doing laundry.
Emptying out and consolidating the contents of my under-the-desk plastic containers.
Reorganizing the contents of my under-the-bed clothing container and the lift-top bench I have.
Taking an even more critical look at my bookshelf.
Making a decision about my hair. (to cut, or not to cut? How short? What's perfect interview length?)
Submitting any cover letters and applications necessary.
Tackling the why didn't I get a bonus when everyone else did? question.
Taking my business clothes to the tailor for some tweaks and nips, in search of a more perfect fit!
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Disconnected

Sunday, January 04, 2009 Posted by Revanche 3 comments
Welcome to the new year!

Whoo, I haven't touched the computer in a few days and it feels like an eternity. *petting laptop* Pretty computer, I missed you!

It's been totally action packed around here, in a quiet, sluggish, sort of way. The pregnant friends from out of town were IN town since the Eve of New Year, as were a few other friends from the East Coast. This meant outings to the local diner, for an old times' sake dinner of french fries, chili cheese pastrami fries, onion rings, zucchini fries, fried mushrooms, and root beer. Also, a few burgers and burritos were had around the table seating over a dozen chattering 20-somethings.

Ahhh yes, healthy healthy indeed. Even the pregnant lady passed up on salads. :)

Other highlights? I watched the first episode of Firefly and loved it. Wish I'd borrowed the DVD to watch more of them tonight as I'm feeling under the weather again.

Spent a ton of time with pregnant friend and family.

Watched The Fellowship of the Ring with my cousin, laughed over our long-ago crushes on Orlando Bloom in that movie.

Ran errands with a friend who sympathetically listened to my stress and woes. Had the same friend help me decide what shoes to buy and shirt to wear with my suit, I want to make the right impression and she's MUCH better at the coordinating colors thing. Her hubby makes me laugh, he was practically dancing with excitement when she admitted he was right and she was wrong about a color combination.

Caught up with friends I haven't seen since high school; one of them has many NYC connections through her church with regards to housing and makes it seem like it's still a possibility. Maybe. We'll see.

Received my copy of The Good Girl's Guide to Negotiating. It's pink, but I haven't decided if that means it's fluffy yet. Another "we'll see."

I hope my glasses with new lenses come in soon. The optician snipped the ends of the arms so they actually fit around my ears like they should, switched the plastic nose pads for silicon ones (free!) and we're trying single vision lenses instead of the progressives I got some years ago that give me headaches. I hate to say it but visiting the eye doctor is always more traumatic than anything else, including the dentist!

We're back into the (work) fray tomorrow so I'll be seeing a whole lot more computer screen, though not for fun things like blogging, twittering, reading blogs, or researching personal stuff.

I know most people were right back to work between Christmas and New Year so I'm grateful for my extra time off; for once, I've really squeezed my money's worth out of the paid holidays instead of trying to find an excuse to put in more hours. If anything, I feel like it's been a mini-decompression from the ultra-wound up mode I'm normally in all year. Now I could use a vacation from the vacation! ;)
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The hard sell

Friday, January 02, 2009 Posted by Revanche 3 comments
Has anyone tried booking an airline ticket lately?

I'm checking off another item on my list of things to do, having just booked my flight for a meeting in January and, my goodness, United.com is shilling hard for the upsell.

First, I was redirected to the Economy Plus option for $24/way when I was selecting my flights; when I didn't take the bait and proceeded to purchase the plain vanilla economy itinerary, I was redirected again.

This time, they had a screen offering me a One Time Deal! Good for Five Minutes! to upgrade to the next class. Goodness, people, this plane probably won't even have a proper First Class! There was even a little doomsday countdown, showing how much time I had left to come to my senses and snatch up the opportunity to pay another $95 for a FC seat on one of the two flights. Pf, not even both ways at that price? Count me out.
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